Life's simple for a simpleton like "Sugar" Sato. He's at the Astoria every morning, snooping around and basking in the glory of being the only Japanese on "friendly" terms with everyone. "Prices are high because we are winning," he says. "That's why people are buying. Prices always act like that: up on good news and down on bad news."

Commentator, fighting his dream war, forgets about the Russians: Do you know what would happen, he asks, "should Germany concentrate her entire might on the Western Front?" Why, the Russians would drive straight through to Berlin, of course!

A Mrs. Araullo was in her dokar when a Japanese MP asked for a ride. "No, this is a private dokar," she said. The officer acknowledged that it was a private dokar, but tried to enter anyway, saying, "I ride with you, so?" Mrs. Araullo objected again. Infuriated, the officer shrieked: "You ... you ... you guerrilla!" and planted a fist in her eye. So now she has a black eye — but he did leave.